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🚨🚨NOKle HEADS ITS GENERAL CHEESE WITH THE UPDATE. GET IN THE BRIEFING ROOM. WE NEED TO DISCUSS. 🚨🚨
(Reposting here because WSB is going hard in the paint when it comes to moderating posts right now) RING RING 📞📞 Pick up goddamn it. It’s general cheese here. 👋 Yeah what’s up bitches you may probably remember me from the NOK discussion post I made yesterday Anyways, there’s a lot of talk that posts like my last post is stock manipulation. Anyways I’m not a financial advisor, I JUST REALLY LIKE THE FUCKING STOCK. And of course, I said that I’d post a DD/Discussion thread today. And it’s going to be a long ass read so buckle the fuck up and put some eye drops in your eyes because here we go. 🥴🚀🔥🔥 —If you are a pussyfooting paper handed bitch then you should probably stop reading at this point— We are at war. Here’s the map You see that shit? Make sure you look at the times of arrival. We are prepped and ready for deployment with AMC and BB. We might be 10 minutes late to the game in comparison, but we’ll get there and we’ll get the job done and we will fuck shit up. Not only that but fucking BlackRock inc is the largest share holder of Nokia at 5.6% and they bought a shit ton more shares a couple days ago. If that’s not a big fucking sign then I don’t know what the hell is. ALSO, if that’s not enough for you, ERIC just beat the the ever living shit out of it’s earnings. ERIC also produces 5G tech like NOK and in the US NOK is practically the only one in the 5G game. They’re one of, if not, the best company to invest in for data transfer systems. You know how you’re reading this, right? You also know how you jack off to porn every night? That’s data transfer. I’m also seeing a lot of you doubting the ever living fuck out of NOK. How about we look at the facts, punks? Last Wednesday the stock hit a record volume of shares traded at 1 BILLION. You need to understand that the moon is fucking possible with this stock. It may not be Monday but it WILL come in the next two weeks. Mark my fucking words. Save the post. “Oh General Cheese, I’m so scared there’s so much old money in this stock just begging to bring the price down.” 😱😱😱😰😰😰 Yes, but what is an enemy without bullets? 🔫 What’s a few couple billionaires to a superstar group of smooth brained retards in the millions with dreams of grandeur? 🚀🚀🚀What’s an enemy to people who don’t even know what they’re doing? 🥴💫Chaos brings fear. Billionaires hate chaos except when they jack off to their own market manipulation sitting in their luxury condos having fucking grapes fed to them by their own children. Gear up boys. Earnings will be the most important day this stock will have ever seen for the past couple decades. That’s when the most shots will be fired. Fuck the short ladders, fuck the sellers. It’s their fault they hate money. As for all of us, we are in it for the long term play. I don’t pretend that this is the next GME because it isn’t. But, this stock deserves to show the world its true value. And it’s hella far from what it is by tenfold. And the bet is still on. If if this fucking stock hits $50 by EOY I will literally eat my own shit in the most crowded park in LA. I will literally buy a fucking gold plate from Dubai or where ever you fucking get those things and sterling silver cutlery. That’s how fucking serious and retarded I am. Anyways. This is the move. No attack on any enemy is done with a single weapon and only one strategic play. It is carried out through a series of cascading effects and in this case, Wall Street, Robinhood, Melvin, etc. is the enemy. A ton of retards buying and holding BANG stocks is the ultimate goal. Everyone is expecting GME. Everyone is cheering on GME. Everyone is sucking off GME. In a battle you create a diversion so that reinforcements can come in from the sides and decimate the enemy. This is what we call a “flank”. AMC and BB are ready to attack from the left. I NEED TO KNOW WHETHER YOU FUCKING NOKle HEADS ARE READY TO ATTACK FROM THE RIGHT. Well? Are you? Hold your positions. Grab your fucking cash because that is a weapon and you buy. “But general 😰🥵😱 how the hell are we supposed to get NOK when RH is blocking our engagement on the enemy?” Okay you shellshocked paper handed bitch, this is how we do it. How do gaslit whores try and make money on tinder? CASHAPP. Who doesn’t set a limit on how many NOK shares you can buy? Coincidentally, CASHAPP. And how do we get past the defenses while we venture into the jaws of death on Monday? This is the run down. Look at your PRICE BY VOLUME CHART on your trading app or whatever the fuck your broker uses and you BUY AT THE ASKING PRICE. For every time you buy NOK at the asking price rather then being a pussyfoot and buying and market price, this is like a grenade to the walls that a stock can generate in terms of its price. RH has it if you have hold but who the fuck uses that? I’m just using that as an example. So, in conclusion, hold the ever living shit out of NOK, hold the line, and ENGAGE. 🪄🚀💫🌙 🔫🔫🔫 Use Cashapp to get shares, or whatever brokerage you can use to get some. Cashapp is just for the wagecucks. And if you don’t have any money because you’re a wagecuck, you’re going to at least have a pistol going in. (you need weapons for a battle you retard) then use the official NOK password ( BKXDNGQ ) when you sign up and get like 2 shares or something. That’s the only way that I can personally help you in these dark times. But the light at the end of the tunnel won’t be too far away, retards. But you have to hold. You have to believe. And if that’s not enough for you, here’s a list of reasons to buy the shit out of NOK
Most essential 5G patents in the world
Fastest 5G speeds recorded
Controls over 27% of the 4/5G market
First company contracted to set up internet on the moon (NASA)
Will receive MULTI-BILLION dollar settlements from ongoing litigations with Mercedes Benz and Lenovo
Technology provider and main collaborator of the National Security Center of Excellence 5G Cybersecurity Project (Federal 5G project)
Selected to be the main collaborator of the Hexa 6G European Union Project
Has pending Department of Defense contracts yet to awarded
Just sealed a contract with TMOBILE for US 5G roll out.
Has and will take market share from Huawei, already has secured multi-year deals with important Chinese companies
Blackrock increased their position to 333,000,000 shares during 2020, an increase of 21 million shares held from the year before (7% increase)
May also be getting back into the phone business as they are manufacturing phones in India
Vanguard Capital owns 160,000,000 shares and is continuously buying
Google Cloud announced a partnership with $NOK to Accelerate Cloud-Native 5G Readiness for Communications Providers
NOK FOR LYFE 💫💫🚀🚀🔥🔥 Edit: WSB mods are trying to keep my silver, sexy, well spoken tongue out of their sub. Maybe I’m too powerful. I never linked a knockoff sub so they can fuck themselves. Just the mods. https://imgur.com/gallery/yf1xniy Signed,
🚨🚨NOKle HEADS ITS GENERAL CHEESE WITH THE UPDATE. GET IN THE BRIEFING ROOM. WE NEED TO DISCUSS. 🚨🚨
(Reposting here because WSB is going hard in the paint when it comes to moderating posts right now) RING RING 📞📞 Pick up goddamn it. It’s general cheese here. 👋 Yeah what’s up bitches you may probably remember me from the NOK discussion post I made yesterday Anyways, there’s a lot of talk that posts like my last post is stock manipulation. Anyways I’m not a financial advisor, I JUST REALLY LIKE THE FUCKING STOCK. And of course, I said that I’d post a DD/Discussion thread today. And it’s going to be a long ass read so buckle the fuck up and put some eye drops in your eyes because here we go. 🥴🚀🔥🔥 —If you are a pussyfooting paper handed bitch then you should probably stop reading at this point— We are at war. Here’s the map You see that shit? Make sure you look at the times of arrival. We are prepped and ready for deployment with AMC and BB. We might be 10 minutes late to the game in comparison, but we’ll get there and we’ll get the job done and we will fuck shit up. Not only that but fucking BlackRock inc is the largest share holder of Nokia at 5.6% and they bought a shit ton more shares a couple days ago. If that’s not a big fucking sign then I don’t know what the hell is. ALSO, if that’s not enough for you, ERIC just beat the the ever living shit out of it’s earnings. ERIC also produces 5G tech like NOK and in the US NOK is practically the only one in the 5G game. They’re one of, if not, the best company to invest in for data transfer systems. You know how you’re reading this, right? You also know how you jack off to porn every night? That’s data transfer. I’m also seeing a lot of you doubting the ever living fuck out of NOK. How about we look at the facts, punks? Last Wednesday the stock hit a record volume of shares traded at 1 BILLION. You need to understand that the moon is fucking possible with this stock. It may not be Monday but it WILL come in the next two weeks. Mark my fucking words. Save the post. “Oh General Cheese, I’m so scared there’s so much old money in this stock just begging to bring the price down.” 😱😱😱😰😰😰 Yes, but what is an enemy without bullets? 🔫 What’s a few couple billionaires to a superstar group of smooth brained retards in the millions with dreams of grandeur? 🚀🚀🚀What’s an enemy to people who don’t even know what they’re doing? 🥴💫Chaos brings fear. Billionaires hate chaos except when they jack off to their own market manipulation sitting in their luxury condos having fucking grapes fed to them by their own children. Gear up boys. Earnings will be the most important day this stock will have ever seen for the past couple decades. That’s when the most shots will be fired. Fuck the short ladders, fuck the sellers. It’s their fault they hate money. As for all of us, we are in it for the long term play. I don’t pretend that this is the next GME because it isn’t. But, this stock deserves to show the world its true value. And it’s hella far from what it is by tenfold. And the bet is still on. If if this fucking stock hits $50 by EOY I will literally eat my own shit in the most crowded park in LA. I will literally buy a fucking gold plate from Dubai or where ever you fucking get those things and sterling silver cutlery. That’s how fucking serious and retarded I am. Anyways. This is the move. No attack on any enemy is done with a single weapon and only one strategic play. It is carried out through a series of cascading effects and in this case, Wall Street, Robinhood, Melvin, etc. is the enemy. A ton of retards buying and holding BANG stocks is the ultimate goal. Everyone is expecting GME. Everyone is cheering on GME. Everyone is sucking off GME. In a battle you create a diversion so that reinforcements can come in from the sides and decimate the enemy. This is what we call a “flank”. AMC and BB are ready to attack from the left. I NEED TO KNOW WHETHER YOU FUCKING NOKle HEADS ARE READY TO ATTACK FROM THE LEFT. Well? Are you? Hold your positions. Grab your fucking cash because that is a weapon and you buy. “But general 😰🥵😱 how the hell are we supposed to get NOK when RH is blocking our engagement on the enemy?” Okay you shellshocked paper handed bitch, this is how we do it. How do gaslit whores try and make money on tinder? CASHAPP. Who doesn’t set a limit on how many NOK shares you can buy? Coincidentally, CASHAPP. And how do we get past the defenses while we venture into the jaws of death on Monday? This is the run down. Look at your PRICE BY VOLUME CHART on your trading app or whatever the fuck your broker uses and you BUY AT THE ASKING PRICE. For every time you buy NOK at the asking price rather then being a pussyfoot and buying and market price, this is like a grenade to the walls that a stock can generate in terms of its price. RH has it if you have hold but who the fuck uses that? I’m just using that as an example. So, in conclusion, hold the ever living shit out of NOK, hold the line, and ENGAGE. 🪄🚀💫🌙 🔫🔫🔫 Use Cashapp to get shares, or whatever brokerage you can use to get some. Cashapp is just for the wagecucks. And if you don’t have any money because you’re a wagecuck, you’re going to at least have a pistol going in. (you need weapons for a battle you retard) then use the official NOK password ( BKXDNGQ ) when you sign up and get like 2 shares or something. That’s the only way that I can personally help you in these dark times. But the light at the end of the tunnel won’t be too far away, retards. But you have to hold. You have to believe. And if that’s not enough for you, here’s a list of reasons to buy the shit out of NOK
Most essential 5G patents in the world
Fastest 5G speeds recorded
Controls over 27% of the 4/5G market
First company contracted to set up internet on the moon (NASA)
Will receive MULTI-BILLION dollar settlements from ongoing litigations with Mercedes Benz and Lenovo
Technology provider and main collaborator of the National Security Center of Excellence 5G Cybersecurity Project (Federal 5G project)
Selected to be the main collaborator of the Hexa 6G European Union Project
Has pending Department of Defense contracts yet to awarded
Just sealed a contract with TMOBILE for US 5G roll out.
Has and will take market share from Huawei, already has secured multi-year deals with important Chinese companies
Blackrock increased their position to 333,000,000 shares during 2020, an increase of 21 million shares held from the year before (7% increase)
May also be getting back into the phone business as they are manufacturing phones in India
Vanguard Capital owns 160,000,000 shares and is continuously buying
Google Cloud announced a partnership with $NOK to Accelerate Cloud-Native 5G Readiness for Communications Providers
I believe my sister is being severely manipulated into isolate. Possible mental illness. Help
Note*\* This was originally posted in RBI but it was suggested to me that I post it here. You can read any other comments and things there. Hey ya'll, this may be a longer post that I'll explain the best I can, so stick with me here. Not sure if this is the right subreddit, so feel free to direct me elsewhere. But PLEASE read until the end. I need help. I am out of options and ideas. My family and I are genuinely concerned and there seems to be no apparent solution, and it seems to be becoming a very serious issue. Some background from my perspective...circa 2013: This has been developing for probably about ~10 years at this point. The sister (now 31F, then 22) we are worried about I'll call "B." Well, about 10 years ago, I was about 13 (now 23F), and B was living at home with my parents, brothers, and I while she was finishing up her degree. B has always been one of the more outgoing people in our family, always going on dates, going out with friends, and almost always out of the house. She was never a trouble maker, truly just social. She loved to study abroad and travel, too. She would always be the one to suggest going out to eat with the family, playing games, going to see movies, go to church, etc. I truly think her life goal was just to be loved by a godly guy, have kids, and live an amazing life. (This is all important later). Well, anyway, as the younger sister who did anything her older sister said, B confided in me with things she didn't want to tell our parents. Enter: potential (most likely) manipulative and abusive boyfriend. B told me one day about this guy that she met online. She had done quite a bit of online dating (keep in mind this was before Tinder and Hinge existed), so this was nothing out of the ordinary. But, B told me that she didn't think our mom or our family would like him because he was black, so she asked me to not say anything. I, of course, loved that I was in on the secret, so of course I didn't say anything. Never had any reason to. Now, our family is not racist. Maybe our southern aunt and grandpa to some extent, but our family would definitely be welcoming of a significant other of another race. However, B has always been sort of dramatic and stubborn, likes to hyperbolize, and has a bit of a victim complex. Anyway, she told me she met him on an online dating site, and kind of a sketchy sounding one at that. I don't quite remember the name, but it wasn't Match or OkCupid or any of the mainstream ones. I expressed that it sounded kind of sketchy, especially because he only had one low quality photo of him on his page, and she told me that he has said he has to keep a "low profile" because he "worked for a top secret and exclusive level of the government" and can't give out much of his information at once, or else he would be in danger or in trouble or something along those lines. So...yeah, I know. Big catfish vibes for sure, but he truly had her convinced of this. So, a short while had passed, maybe a few weeks or so, and B calls me into her room all excited and shows me all these gifts this man had sent her. A brand new iPad, jewelry, clothes, you name it. She said he could afford it all, again, because of his so-called top secret military job, and she was eating it up. He even sent me, the little naive 13 year old, an Amazon gift card as a thanks for "keeping their secret," which would've been really cool at the time had it not given me an extremely weird feeling. Because...you know...it's super fucking sketchy. Anyway, she didn't explicitly tell me much after that, other than answering a few questions I asked about if she was ever going to get more photos or video call him or meet him in person one day, all to which was a resounding no because, again, "his top secret military job that apparently doesn't allow anyone to see him or know where he lives because he's that important" or whatever. Ok, fine, get catfished for all I care. I figured she'ed eventually figure it out the more he pushed it off. Boy was I wrong. Eventually, maybe a few months later after she graduated college, B got a job teaching in a small town nearby us, about 40 minutes away, and moved out on her own. This ended any sort of conversation we ever had about this man, but my family and I still frequently visited B, as well as her coming to visit us, in her time on her own. However, while working there for about 2-3 years, her environment and school admins became aggressively toxic to the point where she quit, and found a new job down in Texas. My family now theorizes that she became so entangled with this boyfriend because of her truly shitty situation and stress with work, which led her to be so vulnerable to be taken advantage of and lied to. (Again, she just wanted to be loved by a godly guy, and he had been telling her that he was Catholic and wanted all the same things she did, yadda yadda yadda). By the next time we saw her right before she moved to Texas, she finally started to tell our family about this guy, probably only because she was now wearing a promise ring from him. He had promised her that as soon as he got out of his "top secret military job" that he was going to come live with her, they'd get married, have kids, and love the Lord together, blah, blah, fucking blah. So, she was hooked, and now moving over 1,000 miles away from us. (Side note--my mom didn't tell me this until recently, but she was genuinely terrified that that would be the last time we ever saw B, because all of us knew how weird it was that she never met him, saw him, or called him, and now she would be far, far away from any family.) Moving forward, our family always got together for Christmas, and B would come each year during the summer as well since she was a teacher and obviously her schedule allowed that. She loved being with family during the holidays. However, as the years went on, her personality shifted quite a bit--very subtly at first, and then more drastically into recent years (which I'll touch on later). She would hardly let us come visit, especially my other older sister who lived in Houston who asked her constantly. The only time I recall seeing her apartment is when my mom and I went to Texas for some testing I needed to do in my junior year of high school. While we visited her, I asked her, without my mom, about the boyfriend because she was still wearing the promise ring. I asked her if they'd met, how he was, when he was going to be done with his job, and so on. She said they had met once in person and that she still didn't know when he would be done, but she was willing to wait no matter how long because she knows he is the one for her and that, I quote, "If I have to choose between my man and my family, I'm going to choose my man every single time." ...Which kind of came out of no where since no one was asking her to choose, but I digress. Now, moving into present day...this is where things really start to get extremely weird and convoluted, and where my family and I realized something needs to happen, and soon. So, probably about 3-4 years ago, we all started to notice B becoming very, very protective over her cell phone. She wouldn't let anyone touch it, look at it, and held it very close to her while she texted on it. She then proceeded to tell us that she no longer wanted us to text or call her or be a part of family group chats because "she doesn't use texting" and it "interrupts her classroom when we try to contact her or send messages during the day." We tried to explain that you can, you know, put your phone on silent or vibrate, but she instantly became very hostile and said that we needed to stop. She always has her phone sounds turned on, and as soon as she gets in incoming message, she immediately drops what she is doing do pick it up and respond. She never, ever responded to or contacted any of us from that moment on, with the exception of my mother's cell and or our home landline. None of us, besides my mom, would ever hear from her during the year (besides holidays when she was with us in person). The only way we could ever speak to her is if we called her from our mom's cell or the house landline. Here's a list of other recent things we began to notice while she was with us for holidays, or just other facts about what we know of the situation, I'll be as brief as possible so this doesn't go on forever:
Any phone call she has (with my mother or those of us who call on mom's cell) would NEVER be more than 30 minutes long. She would find any excuse to end the call before 30 minutes were up. Every single call log from her ends before that 30 minute mark.
She always goes to bed before 10:30pm. Doesn't matter if we are playing a game, watching a movie, or in the middle of a conversation. She claims she has a "strict bedtime" for herself.
B refuses to have friends. Other teachers at her school have asked her to hang out, and B deliberately and rudely tells them that she only wants a professional relationship with them (which is fair to a point, but she truly does not have any friends anymore. At all.)
B refuses to use her cell phone other than texting her boyfriend and refuses to connect to our wifi. When we play Jackbox games or anything that requires a phone, she chooses to use our mom's iPad instead.
I've tried to peak at her phone before, and she messages her boyfriend on Google Hangouts only. No iMessage, the app isn't even on her phone.
She claims recently that she has met up with him many times, but no one believe that to be true. We know no details about him whatsoever.
Our eldest sister hired a private investigator to see what she did while living on her own and not with our family. The PI came back with nothing. She stayed in her apartment, went to get groceries, went to church, went to work, and that's it. No friends, no leaving for anything other than those reasons.
She no longer leaves the house unless it is to go to church on Sundays. No going out to eat, no going to see movies, nothing. If she wants something from a store or food, she always gets someone else to go get it for it, or makes up an excuse as to why she doesn't want to go. She no longer even goes to the grocery store to get food. She does everything she can via online order and delivery.
Whenever marriage is brought up (cause promise ring) or when we ask when we get to meet him, she swiftly changes the subject to something else, or gives a vague, nondescript answer. No amount of pressing will let her say anything, even when we push, she turns it back on us somehow.
My older sister, who hired the PI, is definitely the most bold. Most of us hate conflict, and it's difficult to try to confront her because of her victim complex, and we are afraid if we say something she will leave and never come back. This older sister has asked her to tell her what's happening on multiple occasions, and B said that "it would be over soon" one time, and another time said that she was "letting us get used to not speaking to her because she was going to join a convent because she found out she is infertile." (....wtf?) Both of which are perplexing answers because why and what would be over soon? And how would she even know she's infertile? And i sure as hell know she isn't going into a convent. Every time she has a new story or excuse. We've stopped asking.
B approached me about our older sister asking all these questions. I told B that we were worried about her and that if she needed help, we would do anything we could to get her out of the situation, to which she responded "I know what I'm doing. I would hope my family knows I'm not stupid enough to get myself into something I can't get out of." Which again...very perplexing and makes me infer that she does not want to be doing what she's doing and also makes it seems like she is trying to protect us from something. Like, does he threaten to kill her family(us)? I don't know.
She has a lot of bipolar tendencies nowadays. Getting irritated and angry and saying illogically mean things out of the blue. Then back to nice and normal in an instant.
She won't advance in her career. She talks about wanting to go into administration or get a higher level degree, or even move districts. She complains about it constantly, but won't make any attempts to do so.
It seems like she always has to ask "permission" to do things. I don't know what she texts to him, none of us do. Before we head into church, or before we go downstairs, or when we actually convince her to come out to eat with us (which has only happened once), she always is sending many messages to him.
She will drop everything to reply to a text. Sometimes her phone pings many times in a row, and she literally stop doing everything to respond.
She always talks about how she wants all of our children to be close with each other the way we were with our cousins, but then later talks about how she won't have children because it's a "personal choice." (i thought she was infertile, lmao.)
When buying us Christmas gifts, she always seems to get us stuff that we would've liked 5 years previous, mostly because she no longer knows who we are because there is no communication except for a month or two our of the year, and then is upset when we don't use her gifts or when we all hang out without her while on break. (Like, when I was 19, she got me a lipgloss making kit and a bracelet making kit that 14 year old me would've died for).
I've caught her slipping up a few times when she'll say things like "when I meet the right guy" or "when I start dating someone" as if she were single.
Now this is the most confusing and interesting part of the story that I discovered: One time, this past summer (2020), she left her phone on the counter while using the restroom, so I looked at it, and shockingly, her messages were open. Huge freaking jackpot. I'm all for respecting people's privacy, but this all has been too damn weird for me to not look. I was definitely rushing and totally wish I would've taken photos, but she was going to come back any moment. Here's what I saw:
All messages from him were deleted. The only messaged that showed were the ones she had sent.
She was using a lot of three-letter abbreviations such as "PAU" and another that started with "CO" and several more. Again, I wish I remembered. I don't even know what they could mean.
Weirdest of all: she was telling him all of our movements. Where we were, when we woke up, what we were doing. For example: "OP just woke up, she is coming downstairs" "OP heading to the kitchen" "Brother just got home" "Brother moving to downstairs" and so on. For all of us. Me, my brother, my mom, everyone--herself included, which we figured she was telling him everything she was doing anyway, but us? Damn. After this, I noticed that every time someone came within her vicinity, she would pick up her phone and send a message. That shit has made me queasy ever since.
So, now, here we are. This shit is super fucked, and we don't know what to do. We have had many failed attempts to talk to her, all of which are abruptly shut down. My mom has even sent her a burner phone with instructions on how to contact us. I don't know if we just aren't being aggressive enough, but again, we don't want her to suddenly leave and never hear from her again. At this point, my other siblings and I have all sadly accepted that it's likely we will not have her as part of our lives for long, especially as we all get older and start our own families, but how can we include her if she is so shut off from us? It just seems like classic abuser manipulative bullshit to me, but I don't know what to do. I wish I could hack her phone somehow and just see what's in those messages more closely. Or smack some sense into her, because not one healthy relationship functions like this, so I have no clue why she has fallen so hard into this. Or if there's something more sinister going on. We are all so sad. We love our sister, and we don't want her to waste the best years of her life being a recluse to society, which she basically has at this point since this start when she was 22 and she is now almost 32. There's probably a lot that we don't know, either, which makes it worse. So what do you think? Is he blackmailing her? Threatening to kill us? Is her phone bugged? What should we do? Any and all thought or suggestions are welcome. Thanks for getting this far. I will make edits if necessary to clarify. EDIT: Clarifying a few things... It has been brought to my attention that you cannot delete messages on Google Hangouts, so unless I am wrong about the app they use, or if they use the "foldering" technique and are on the same account, I am unsure. Again, I have only ever been able to briefly look at her phone while unlocked. I once thought they used WhatsApp, but most recently am pretty sure I recognized the Hangouts icon. She truly does act pretty normal and like she used to a good chunk of the time. She plays video games with us, cooks with us, quilts, etc. Even when I've called her (on my mom's phone) she always answers and is alert and cheery, but again, the conversation is limited to 30 minutes, which is why I theorize a bugged phone. The church we attend is the Catholic Church. So no "religious leader" or anything of that sort. However, she does often ask my mom clarifying questions about the faith and what we believe, all of which would usually be pretty common knowledge for a Catholic who attends church every week and makes it a priority. Also, she does believe in some very odd end-of-the-world things that revolve around the catholic faith but are not confirmed by the Catholic Church in any way, but she chooses to believe them anyway, so take that as you will. IMO she does not follow the Church teaching correctly. An additional detail I forgot to add: She has told me that their relationship "is a chaste one," and has mentioned "eventually" getting married to him. Again, adding to a narrative of extremest faith and things of that sort, so I assume if they ever have met, they don't have sex. (Which is weird because idk any guy who would be in a relationship for 10 years and not want to have sex or attempt to get married). I do know she had sex a decent amount up until the point of meeting him, so not sure if she feels some sort of guilt, but any truly healthy Catholic relationship does not function this way...or any relationship every for that fact. Mental illness & schizophrenia is definitely not out of the picture. I suffer from PTSD and depression, and I know how difficult it can be to be confronted out it. It feels embarrassing, and you can't controls those emotions. This is why we are unsure of how to proceed. With the limited time we get to see her, it's unlikely she would willingly go to a therapist due to the fact she won't even leave the house for anything other than church. Not sure if we should confiscate her phone and keys while we attempt to speak to her or what. My oldest sister and brother are beginning to get very angry about the situation, which I believe is out of fear of the unknown, being shut out, and all that, so I am wary of having a big conversation because emotions run high in our family because we never learned how to express emotions or talk about difficult subjects when we were growing up. Definitely something we need to work on, but it's very easy for us to get defensive and avoid these situations without regard for each other.
My FWB ghosted and is back now. That is super shitty behavior if we were dating but instead we are only sleeping together. Does that make the ghosting more acceptable/forgiveable?
Update - Well it’s a sad one. So I met up with him last night. He looked very ill. I think he’s lost at least 15 pounds in two weeks. He said while he was waiting for me at my apartment his phone died before he saw my response, so he ended up walking home. Once he got there he just grabbed his dog to go for a drive, but left his dead phone at home. He ended up driving all night. And then just kept driving...all the way to the other side of the country. Like some Forrest Gump shit. He even bought an old school map. He wound up visiting his grandma. He looked really sad as he told me this. He came back and decided he can’t live here anymore, and he can’t live the daily grind lifestyle anymore. That he has to go do something while he still has time... I asked him point blank if he was dying and he just kind of froze up and then cracked a joke. I asked him if he knows what’s wrong and he said he has been ignoring his doctor’s calls with the results... I asked him if his white blood cell count was high and he dodged the question again. He said he just wants to escape everything, that’s why he left. And now that he’s back he has already sold almost all his possessions so he can just be free. I told him how uncomfortable I felt about the communication. That like if he moved away and told me ahead of time and then never talked to me again, I can accept that. Or if he died and somebody was able to call me to let me know, I can accept that. But him just ghosting me without any warning was a bit of a shock to me. He sincerely apologized and promised he wouldn’t do that again, that if he needed to run away again he would at least let me know first. I asked him if he did find out he was dying if he’d tell me. He got real sad and said he doesn’t think he’d tell anybody. I told him I feel like he’s dying and that he knows it and isn’t telling me. He just looked away for a while, and then said he will try to call his doctor tomorrow. We did end up sleeping together for the first time since his first symptoms, which I kind of can’t believe he was so capable given the situation. But damn it was fire I gotta admit. And then we snuggled for hours which we usually do, but this time he specifically thanked me for the cuddles and said he really needed it. His symptoms are the exact same as somebody I knew who died of colon cancer a few years ago. I feel like given the severity of his situation, it’s not my place to judge the ghosting. Honestly if he were my partner or my best friend or my mother or child, even then I feel like I couldn’t blame him for running away like he did. I decided I’m going to be there for him because honestly, it seems like he wants me to. And I think he needs it. And I am never scared of appreciating something good just because it will end later. Maybe I’ll visit him wherever he winds up or maybe I’ll never see him again after he leaves this city. I am sad but at peace with that, and I just hope he gets what he needs while he is still here. —- I have a FWB with more emphasis on the benefits and did not know each other before we met on tinder a few months ago, shortly after he moved here. We have been sleeping together about 3x a week. Well last time I noticed he didn’t look too well and ended up driving him home. He sent me a snap a few days later from the ER saying he had some really concerning and serious GI issues but the cause was unknown. Because he moved to this city in the middle of freaking 2020, he hasn’t made any friends yet, so I’m kind of his only friend. So I checked on him when he got discharged and brought him some food, and checked on him a couple other times the following week. (TBH I don’t think I would have done that if he had close friends or family here, because the nature of our relationship is just hooking up.) He is normally very quick to respond on snap, but during this time he wasn’t, and I even swung by his spot after a few days to check on him because I was lowkey worried he wasn’t responding due to being too ill to get to his phone. He seemed grateful when I dropped by, and said he’d been sleeping about 20 hours a day and was really sick the few hours he was awake, and he hasn’t even looked at his phone in a couple days. I couldn’t stay long despite him asking me to stay and hang out to help him feel better. He really didn’t look well and they still didn’t know what was wrong. I was pretty worried because the issues seemed really serious. A few days later he sent a snap saying he and his doctor seemed to be on the right track and he was feeling way better, like back to normal better. I invited him to come over later, and he said he had actually swung by my place and when would I be there. I said real soon and I’d call him in just a min. Well he didn’t pick up the call and then wasn’t at my place when I got home 15 minutes later. I sent him a few messages but he never read them. I realized we never exchanged numbers or at least I had never saved his so the only way I knew to get a hold of him was Snapchat and in person. So a few days later my snaps were still unread so I dropped by his place and he didn’t answer the door, and then again a few days later, and he still didn’t answer. At this point I really started to worry that maybe he was back in the hospital or something. Or worse, actually helpless alone in his apartment. Tbh I contemplated calling in a wellness check with the police department but didn’t because, well, it crossed my mind maybe he was ghosting me. He finally got back to me after like 10 days of not hearing from him. He apologized and said he wound up going on some impromptu trip out of state but didn’t have his phone or laptop with him, and that he’d explain in person. Well now he wants to come over and I do want an explanation. If he were a boyfriend or a close friend or family member I think I’d be pretty pissed right now. If this were a dating situation I would bounce bc i cant trust somebody who just ghosts like that for no good reason. I honestly have been pretty anxious the last few weeks thinking he was dying or dead, and that could have been avoided with a simple acknowledgement from him. But he’s literally just a fuck buddy who I have now crossed the lines into more than a fuck buddy because of how I have been helping him while he’s been sick. So I guess I just want to know how you all would feel in my shoes. Is it no big deal because of the nature of our relationship? Or is it still really disrespectful and a red flag despite being simply a sexual relationship and nothing more? tl;dr - Fuck buddy got severely sick and then dropped off the face of the earth leaving me anxious he had passed away. Then he comes back with an apology saying he’s alright and he will explain his absence in person (later tonight). Do I give him another chance?
I (22M) cheated on my girlfriend (21F) and although we reconciled, it's coming to its last stop...
To clarify, I don't want no pity nor do I deserve it. Honestly, I need the most brutal but honest opinions. It all started back in June of 2020. We had been dating since December 2018 and made great memories going abroad to Europe and traveling around the world. She is an international student from Korea so we've done quite a few long distance months during summer breaks and winter breaks. Of course once Covid hit, she had to go back to Korea while I flew back home from school. The first few months were like no other, facetiming as we usually do during our time apart. However, after 3 months, I made a rash decision of downloading tinder. At first, it was used as a confidence booster and I rarely messaged anyone except for looking at my number of likes. Now that I look back at it, I was still young and naive with low self confidence that I had to resort to tinder to bring it up. But after a few weeks, I started to talk to girls but mostly for jokes and giggles with a lot of cheesy pick up lines. It ultimately led to talking to a girl back and forth for a few days and we finally met up. I drove to pick her up but it was cut short due to my guilt. We did nothing sexual. I honestly blanked when she got into my car that I drove around the block and dropped her off saying that I needed to go. After that, I texted my girlfriend telling her how much I loved her. I guess this made her suspicious. Once we got back to school, she tumbled upon our messages on my Ipad while I was sleeping. At that time I didn't think it was a big deal so I denied that I cheated on her. But of course since she saw everything sent back and forth including jokes and giggles, I told her everything that happened. However, I messed up big time as I was trying to act "cool" by saying that she was not hot when really it had nothing to do with that. She tried to forgive me but it took awhile and I saw the pain and distraught in her face. We went to Korea for a bit but had to quarantine for two weeks. During that time I had a fallout with my family that almost resulted in a fist fight between my dad and I. My dad had been abusive since I was little but I always thought that was the norm due to the culture. As my parents were filing for divorce, I was rethinking everything in life and of course the first thing that came up was my guilt towards my girlfriend. I felt like I was turning into my father, which I hated. I made a promise to myself when I was young to never follow the footsteps of my father when dealing with relationships. So right before getting out of quarantine, I broke up with her thinking that I made the right choice of her not living with the idea of my cheating. At first, I dubbed all her calls and messages but then a week later I could not live with myself knowing that this was the girl I wanted to marry. In Korea we met up about three to four times but mostly ended up in bed rather than talking about what was going on in the relationship. Fast forward to October of 2020, she made it clear that we were broken up. She started to meet new guys on tinder and hinged which resulted in her seeing a guy for a few weeks. We were still talking during that time period and we eventually got back together which may or may not have been due to me proposing to her on the streets at 1AM. I loved the girl and I really just wanted everything to go back to normal which was selfish of me. Although she didn't accept my proposal, we did get back together and had a wonderful time before she went back to Korea for winter break. It is January 31st now, I have been counting down the days for her to come back to the States but I get a text saying that she has something to say. She told me that she can't envision us together anymore nor does she see a future with me. It felt like the world was tumbling down. I know she has been doing a lot of thinking and she has told me that she talked it over with her friends. But I didn't know it would hit me like a truck coming from a blind spot. I thought everything was going well, I have been doing everything I can to make sure she can trust me and love me. I text her first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Every day I have sent her good morning messages so she would have a grand day. But today it hit a dead wall. I went for a walk during the snowstorm thinking it would be nice if I could freeze and stop time. I know this may be selfish of myself for wanting her when I did not give her my all. But I have been trying my best to fix this because I believe there is a power to change. And I strongly believe that nothing comes out if you don't try but this time I think she means it when she wants us to stay friends. If I truly love her, do I let her go? I guess that is my question.
Has wokeness left anyone else feeling culturally "homeless"? (533 points, 237 comments)
Guys love moving to Colorado and making Instagram posts that say “just another day at the office!” with like a picture of a mountain. (475 points, 114 comments)
Anyone celebrating the "Boomer Remover" is only exposing how atomized they are. (281 points, 124 comments)
Funny how leftists will be like “All cops are bastards, even your cop dad!” Meanwhile their own dads work for sinister NGOs that, like, harvest adrenochrome from African children. (261 points, 63 comments)
Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not a sociopath. Just a garden variety cream cheese on a toasted everything bagel and a medium hot coffee, please. No room for cream. Well, a little room, actually. Thank you! (257 points, 51 comments)
Never trust a man with a clean, tastefully-furnished apartment. (240 points, 189 comments)
libs love the adding the word “fucking” to inoffensive, shrewdish nags in an effort to sound cool and personable. stay the fuck home, trust your fucking doctors, go the fuck to sleep (343 points, 101 comments)
does anyone else think we will ever have a cultural reckoning where we actually recede away from algorithmic social media, and that this will all be a dark period in our history like when a quarter of china was addicted to opium (225 points, 82 comments)
anna khachiyan voice ther are no more real hot men any more there allgay or basically girls u have to look back to classic holly wood to find the hot guys you know frankenstein dracula the mummy the wolf man camille paglia talks about this (390 points, 23 comments)
My flatmate is in her first polyamorous relationship and miserable that she doesn’t get the same attention as the guy‘s primary partner of 7 years (384 points, 275 comments)
I believe my sister (31F) is being manipulated into completely isolation. Warning: long post
Note*\* This was originally posted in RBI but it was suggested to me that I post it here. You can read any other comments and things there. Had to made a new throwaway account to be able to post here. Hey ya'll, this may be a longer post that I'll explain the best I can, so stick with me here. Not sure if this is the right subreddit, so feel free to direct me elsewhere. But PLEASE read until the end. I need help. I am out of options and ideas. My family and I are genuinely concerned and there seems to be no apparent solution, and it seems to be becoming a very serious issue. Some background from my perspective...circa 2013: This has been developing for probably about ~10 years at this point. The sister (now 31F, then 22) we are worried about I'll call "B." Well, about 10 years ago, I was about 13 (now 23F), and B was living at home with my parents, brothers, and I while she was finishing up her degree. B has always been one of the more outgoing people in our family, always going on dates, going out with friends, and almost always out of the house. She was never a trouble maker, truly just social. She loved to study abroad and travel, too. She would always be the one to suggest going out to eat with the family, playing games, going to see movies, go to church, etc. I truly think her life goal was just to be loved by a godly guy, have kids, and live an amazing life. (This is all important later). Well, anyway, as the younger sister who did anything her older sister said, B confided in me with things she didn't want to tell our parents. Enter: potential (most likely) manipulative and abusive boyfriend. B told me one day about this guy that she met online. She had done quite a bit of online dating (keep in mind this was before Tinder and Hinge existed), so this was nothing out of the ordinary. But, B told me that she didn't think our mom or our family would like him because he was black, so she asked me to not say anything. I, of course, loved that I was in on the secret, so of course I didn't say anything. Never had any reason to. Now, our family is not racist. Maybe our southern aunt and grandpa to some extent, but our family would definitely be welcoming of a significant other of another race. However, B has always been sort of dramatic and stubborn, likes to hyperbolize, and has a bit of a victim complex. Anyway, she told me she met him on an online dating site, and kind of a sketchy sounding one at that. I don't quite remember the name, but it wasn't Match or OkCupid or any of the mainstream ones. I expressed that it sounded kind of sketchy, especially because he only had one low quality photo of him on his page, and she told me that he has said he has to keep a "low profile" because he "worked for a top secret and exclusive level of the government" and can't give out much of his information at once, or else he would be in danger or in trouble or something along those lines. So...yeah, I know. Big catfish vibes for sure, but he truly had her convinced of this. So, a short while had passed, maybe a few weeks or so, and B calls me into her room all excited and shows me all these gifts this man had sent her. A brand new iPad, jewelry, clothes, you name it. She said he could afford it all, again, because of his so-called top secret military job, and she was eating it up. He even sent me, the little naive 13 year old, an Amazon gift card as a thanks for "keeping their secret," which would've been really cool at the time had it not given me an extremely weird feeling. Because...you know...it's super fucking sketchy. Anyway, she didn't explicitly tell me much after that, other than answering a few questions I asked about if she was ever going to get more photos or video call him or meet him in person one day, all to which was a resounding no because, again, "his top secret military job that apparently doesn't allow anyone to see him or know where he lives because he's that important" or whatever. Ok, fine, get catfished for all I care. I figured she'ed eventually figure it out the more he pushed it off. Boy was I wrong. Eventually, maybe a few months later after she graduated college, B got a job teaching in a small town nearby us, about 40 minutes away, and moved out on her own. This ended any sort of conversation we ever had about this man, but my family and I still frequently visited B, as well as her coming to visit us, in her time on her own. However, while working there for about 2-3 years, her environment and school admins became aggressively toxic to the point where she quit, and found a new job down in Texas. My family now theorizes that she became so entangled with this boyfriend because of her truly shitty situation and stress with work, which led her to be so vulnerable to be taken advantage of and lied to. (Again, she just wanted to be loved by a godly guy, and he had been telling her that he was Catholic and wanted all the same things she did, yadda yadda yadda). By the next time we saw her right before she moved to Texas, she finally started to tell our family about this guy, probably only because she was now wearing a promise ring from him. He had promised her that as soon as he got out of his "top secret military job" that he was going to come live with her, they'd get married, have kids, and love the Lord together, blah, blah, fucking blah. So, she was hooked, and now moving over 1,000 miles away from us. (Side note--my mom didn't tell me this until recently, but she was genuinely terrified that that would be the last time we ever saw B, because all of us knew how weird it was that she never met him, saw him, or called him, and now she would be far, far away from any family.) Moving forward, our family always got together for Christmas, and B would come each year during the summer as well since she was a teacher and obviously her schedule allowed that. She loved being with family during the holidays. However, as the years went on, her personality shifted quite a bit--very subtly at first, and then more drastically into recent years (which I'll touch on later). She would hardly let us come visit, especially my other older sister who lived in Houston who asked her constantly. The only time I recall seeing her apartment is when my mom and I went to Texas for some testing I needed to do in my junior year of high school. While we visited her, I asked her, without my mom, about the boyfriend because she was still wearing the promise ring. I asked her if they'd met, how he was, when he was going to be done with his job, and so on. She said they had met once in person and that she still didn't know when he would be done, but she was willing to wait no matter how long because she knows he is the one for her and that, I quote, "If I have to choose between my man and my family, I'm going to choose my man every single time." ...Which kind of came out of no where since no one was asking her to choose, but I digress. Now, moving into present day...this is where things really start to get extremely weird and convoluted, and where my family and I realized something needs to happen, and soon. So, probably about 3-4 years ago, we all started to notice B becoming very, very protective over her cell phone. She wouldn't let anyone touch it, look at it, and held it very close to her while she texted on it. She then proceeded to tell us that she no longer wanted us to text or call her or be a part of family group chats because "she doesn't use texting" and it "interrupts her classroom when we try to contact her or send messages during the day." We tried to explain that you can, you know, put your phone on silent or vibrate, but she instantly became very hostile and said that we needed to stop. She always has her phone sounds turned on, and as soon as she gets in incoming message, she immediately drops what she is doing do pick it up and respond. She never, ever responded to or contacted any of us from that moment on, with the exception of my mother's cell and or our home landline. None of us, besides my mom, would ever hear from her during the year (besides holidays when she was with us in person). The only way we could ever speak to her is if we called her from our mom's cell or the house landline. Here's a list of other recent things we began to notice while she was with us for holidays, or just other facts about what we know of the situation, I'll be as brief as possible so this doesn't go on forever:
Any phone call she has (with my mother or those of us who call on mom's cell) would NEVER be more than 30 minutes long. She would find any excuse to end the call before 30 minutes were up. Every single call log from her ends before that 30 minute mark.
She always goes to bed before 10:30pm. Doesn't matter if we are playing a game, watching a movie, or in the middle of a conversation. She claims she has a "strict bedtime" for herself.
B refuses to have friends. Other teachers at her school have asked her to hang out, and B deliberately and rudely tells them that she only wants a professional relationship with them (which is fair to a point, but she truly does not have any friends anymore. At all.)
B refuses to use her cell phone other than texting her boyfriend and refuses to connect to our wifi. When we play Jackbox games or anything that requires a phone, she chooses to use our mom's iPad instead.
I've tried to peak at her phone before, and she messages her boyfriend on Google Hangouts only. No iMessage, the app isn't even on her phone.
She claims recently that she has met up with him many times, but no one believe that to be true. We know no details about him whatsoever.
Our eldest sister hired a private investigator to see what she did while living on her own and not with our family. The PI came back with nothing. She stayed in her apartment, went to get groceries, went to church, went to work, and that's it. No friends, no leaving for anything other than those reasons.
She no longer leaves the house unless it is to go to church on Sundays. No going out to eat, no going to see movies, nothing. If she wants something from a store or food, she always gets someone else to go get it for it, or makes up an excuse as to why she doesn't want to go. She no longer even goes to the grocery store to get food. She does everything she can via online order and delivery.
Whenever marriage is brought up (cause promise ring) or when we ask when we get to meet him, she swiftly changes the subject to something else, or gives a vague, nondescript answer. No amount of pressing will let her say anything, even when we push, she turns it back on us somehow.
My older sister, who hired the PI, is definitely the most bold. Most of us hate conflict, and it's difficult to try to confront her because of her victim complex, and we are afraid if we say something she will leave and never come back. This older sister has asked her to tell her what's happening on multiple occasions, and B said that "it would be over soon" one time, and another time said that she was "letting us get used to not speaking to her because she was going to join a convent because she found out she is infertile." (....wtf?) Both of which are perplexing answers because why and what would be over soon? And how would she even know she's infertile? And i sure as hell know she isn't going into a convent. Every time she has a new story or excuse. We've stopped asking.
B approached me about our older sister asking all these questions. I told B that we were worried about her and that if she needed help, we would do anything we could to get her out of the situation, to which she responded "I know what I'm doing. I would hope my family knows I'm not stupid enough to get myself into something I can't get out of." Which again...very perplexing and makes me infer that she does not want to be doing what she's doing and also makes it seems like she is trying to protect us from something. Like, does he threaten to kill her family(us)? I don't know.
She has a lot of bipolar tendencies nowadays. Getting irritated and angry and saying illogically mean things out of the blue. Then back to nice and normal in an instant.
She won't advance in her career. She talks about wanting to go into administration or get a higher level degree, or even move districts. She complains about it constantly, but won't make any attempts to do so.
It seems like she always has to ask "permission" to do things. I don't know what she texts to him, none of us do. Before we head into church, or before we go downstairs, or when we actually convince her to come out to eat with us (which has only happened once), she always is sending many messages to him.
She will drop everything to reply to a text. Sometimes her phone pings many times in a row, and she literally stop doing everything to respond.
She always talks about how she wants all of our children to be close with each other the way we were with our cousins, but then later talks about how she won't have children because it's a "personal choice." (i thought she was infertile, lmao.)
When buying us Christmas gifts, she always seems to get us stuff that we would've liked 5 years previous, mostly because she no longer knows who we are because there is no communication except for a month or two our of the year, and then is upset when we don't use her gifts or when we all hang out without her while on break. (Like, when I was 19, she got me a lipgloss making kit and a bracelet making kit that 14 year old me would've died for).
I've caught her slipping up a few times when she'll say things like "when I meet the right guy" or "when I start dating someone" as if she were single.
Now this is the most confusing and interesting part of the story that I discovered: One time, this past summer (2020), she left her phone on the counter while using the restroom, so I looked at it, and shockingly, her messages were open. Huge freaking jackpot. I'm all for respecting people's privacy, but this all has been too damn weird for me to not look. I was definitely rushing and totally wish I would've taken photos, but she was going to come back any moment. Here's what I saw:
All messages from him were deleted. The only messaged that showed were the ones she had sent.
She was using a lot of three-letter abbreviations such as "PAU" and another that started with "CO" and several more. Again, I wish I remembered. I don't even know what they could mean.
Weirdest of all: she was telling him all of our movements. Where we were, when we woke up, what we were doing. For example: "OP just woke up, she is coming downstairs" "OP heading to the kitchen" "Brother just got home" "Brother moving to downstairs" and so on. For all of us. Me, my brother, my mom, everyone--herself included, which we figured she was telling him everything she was doing anyway, but us? Damn. After this, I noticed that every time someone came within her vicinity, she would pick up her phone and send a message. That shit has made me queasy ever since.
So, now, here we are. This shit is super fucked, and we don't know what to do. We have had many failed attempts to talk to her, all of which are abruptly shut down. My mom has even sent her a burner phone with instructions on how to contact us. I don't know if we just aren't being aggressive enough, but again, we don't want her to suddenly leave and never hear from her again. At this point, my other siblings and I have all sadly accepted that it's likely we will not have her as part of our lives for long, especially as we all get older and start our own families, but how can we include her if she is so shut off from us? It just seems like classic abuser manipulative bullshit to me, but I don't know what to do. I wish I could hack her phone somehow and just see what's in those messages more closely. Or smack some sense into her, because not one healthy relationship functions like this, so I have no clue why she has fallen so hard into this. Or if there's something more sinister going on. We are all so sad. We love our sister, and we don't want her to waste the best years of her life being a recluse to society, which she basically has at this point since this start when she was 22 and she is now almost 32. There's probably a lot that we don't know, either, which makes it worse. So what do you think? Is he blackmailing her? Threatening to kill us? Is her phone bugged? What should we do? Any and all thought or suggestions are welcome. Thanks for getting this far. I will make edits if necessary to clarify. EDIT: Clarifying a few things... It has been brought to my attention that you cannot delete messages on Google Hangouts, so unless I am wrong about the app they use, or if they use the "foldering" technique and are on the same account, I am unsure. Again, I have only ever been able to briefly look at her phone while unlocked. I once thought they used WhatsApp, but most recently am pretty sure I recognized the Hangouts icon. She truly does act pretty normal and like she used to a good chunk of the time. She plays video games with us, cooks with us, quilts, etc. Even when I've called her (on my mom's phone) she always answers and is alert and cheery, but again, the conversation is limited to 30 minutes, which is why I theorize a bugged phone. The church we attend is the Catholic Church. So no "religious leader" or anything of that sort. However, she does often ask my mom clarifying questions about the faith and what we believe, all of which would usually be pretty common knowledge for a Catholic who attends church every week and makes it a priority. Also, she does believe in some very odd end-of-the-world things that revolve around the catholic faith but are not confirmed by the Catholic Church in any way, but she chooses to believe them anyway, so take that as you will. IMO she does not follow the Church teaching correctly. An additional detail I forgot to add: She has told me that their relationship "is a chaste one," and has mentioned "eventually" getting married to him. Again, adding to a narrative of extremest faith and things of that sort, so I assume if they ever have met, they don't have sex. (Which is weird because idk any guy who would be in a relationship for 10 years and not want to have sex or attempt to get married). I do know she had sex a decent amount up until the point of meeting him, so not sure if she feels some sort of guilt, but any truly healthy Catholic relationship does not function this way...or any relationship every for that fact. Mental illness & schizophrenia is definitely not out of the picture. I suffer from PTSD and depression, and I know how difficult it can be to be confronted out it. It feels embarrassing, and you can't controls those emotions. This is why we are unsure of how to proceed. With the limited time we get to see her, it's unlikely she would willingly go to a therapist due to the fact she won't even leave the house for anything other than church. Not sure if we should confiscate her phone and keys while we attempt to speak to her or what. My oldest sister and brother are beginning to get very angry about the situation, which I believe is out of fear of the unknown, being shut out, and all that, so I am wary of having a big conversation because emotions run high in our family because we never learned how to express emotions or talk about difficult subjects when we were growing up. Definitely something we need to work on, but it's very easy for us to get defensive and avoid these situations without regard for each other.
I've had clients who I knew I would have a limited impact with based on their physical appearance (people who are morbidly obese, have disfigurements, etc...) because online dating is attraction based. I'm upfront with them and we talk about what I can help with and other options for them. They then decide whether or not they'd like to make an appointment. It's incredibly important to me to never be predatory. I've never had a negative review, and I think it's in large part because I try very hard to be fair and honest. My clients trust me, which means that they keep coming back and they refer me to their friends.
I spend a huge portion of my days convincing (and then teaching) guys how to smile in photos. Girls have been socialized since childhood to smile pretty for photos, and most guys were taught the opposite. Other than smiling, the most common advice I give is going over their photos and showing them exactly what isn't working and how they are being perceived. We then start working on super specific instructions of how to take new photos that will work for them.
Pre covid I did advertising on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Reddit. I've also learned how to do a lot of free marketing. I had a family member who was very I'll with covid, so I stopped marketing campaigns several months ago to focus on my family. I continued seeing clients who made appointments via word-of-mouth, remembered me from Reddit, and repeat customers. Word-of-mouth has been huge. I started paying taxes as a small business within a few months of starting off.
Stalkers and doxing attempts. I don't use my full name or my face with my business because in the beginning there were a few people who made doxing threats or people who tried their darnest to find me. There was one guy who somehow got himself into a Discord server I use to play video games on, and DMed several people in the server asking if they knew my real address. It completely changed how I ran my business. I hired someone to show me how to make sure my privacy is safe.
Word of mouth is amazing, so is finding ways to advertise for free. My campaign ads were hit and miss for a long time, but I eventually hired someone who does it professionally to show me what I'm doing wrong. Even if hiring someone to do it for you is out of your price range (and lots of the time it is out of mine), you can usually buy an hour of someone's time to explain to you what you're doing wrong and what you can do to improve. It's always been worth it to me and has made a huge difference.
Most of my clients are straight men, after that it's gay women, a few gay men, and then my least common client is straight women (I think I've only had two).
When my client isn't a straight man, we have a conversation before the appointment time. I explain my limitations, and then they decide whether or not they're still interested in keeping the appointment. Most of what I do is help people to market themselves. After that, it's to help (mostly) men how to appeal to women on dating apps.
The biggest difference is that women (the few I've worked with) want to change their profile to get matches that more align with what they're looking for, and most of the men I get aren't getting enough matches, aren't getting matches they're actually attracted to, or are getting ghosted a lot.
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What is the biggest difference you see between men and women that holds them back?
Thanks so much!!! Omg best moment was, hands down, when I had a client who was so defeated in our initial appointment that he started crying. We worked together for a few weeks, and then he sent me a screenshot of matches he had for the first time. He was SO excited. It was like a high. He's been with his girlfriend for like 6 months now, and they're living together. We've gamed together a few times haha. Best day ever.
If I had a question, I would have to ask what was the most satisfying moment you have had with a client?
What's surprised me the most is a HUGE age range of clients. I assumed that most of my clients would be younger guys. My biggest age group is guys from like 25-32. A close second is guys 18-23, but I have had a surprising number of older men who are getting back into dating and are overwhelmed. My oldest client was 72. He was the best.
In the beginning I wasn't planning on starting a business, I posted to slave labour in the hopes that I would make $20 so I could buy groceries. It blew up. I'm not sure how else to describe it. I was in a persistent state of shock for months. I kept expecting it to end, but every time I reposted was getting more responses. Clients I had already helped started leaving very kind reviews on Reddit, which increased the success of my future posts. When I first made my website it was NOT because I was planning on turning this into a business, I just physically couldn't continue to schedule people through Reddit anymore. There were too many, so I got a website with a built in scheduling app and assumed I'd just use it for a few months. I hired someone on Reddit to teach me about small businesses and how to do the tax forms. This is what I love the most about Reddit, it's this massive community full of knowledge. Whenever I need help understanding something, I always hit up Reddit first.
yes. It is very very very common. I have had TONS of clients who do fine in person but struggle with online dating, and they tend to do very well once they recognize what they're doing wrong. If you aren't getting matches, it's almost certainly that you're taking shitty photos that aren't marketing yourself well. If women aren't responding to your initial message it's because it isn't compelling enough, and if you're constantly getting ghosted once conversation starts, it's because you're struggling to quickly build chemistry and get her out on the date. It's difficult to give advice because I'm not sure where exactly you're struggling, so I kept it vague haha.
When I'm running marketing campaigns? It's better than what I would make as an MSW doing counseling. The Pocket Chloe is the game-changer in terms of money, and several of my clients use it for months at a time. (The Pocket Chloe is a text-based service over the course of a week, where I'm available to my clients from 9am-midnight est to help them message matches, ask advice, approve new photos, whatever they want).
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The past few months I've stepped back to focus on my family during covid, and I've made enough to pay my bills. I'm planning on starting back with marketing after the holidays.
I educate them. My services center around teaching men how to appeal to women, which usually entails explaining the female experience on dating apps. With clients who are sexist or racist (how do I get an asian girl/latina girl, etc...), I educate. If they aren't interested in learning, I refund them and end the appointment. I used to struggle with what to do in those situations because I was terrified of them leaving a bad review and destroying my business, but I put on my big girl panties and started telling them to fuck off.
haha OSRS questions are the best questions. I'm working on Slayer right now. I really like Slayer. I also love farming and I love the idea of agility... until an hour in haha.
The most common mistake guys make is focusing on showing off a lifestyle or humor instead of focusing on showing off their most attractive features. After that, taking photos that are poor quality, don't include a full body shot, or photos with exes. If you're looking for something more in depth, I have a few blogs about photos: https://www.advicebychloe.com/blog
(Second question if you'll indulge me)
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What is the most common mistake guys make with their picture choices?
It's really hard for people of color on dating apps, esp Asian men because they've been so demasculinized and desexualized in American media. It's definitely an issue, and a huge portion of my clients are Asian men. There are a few tricks to increase your match rate though. Email me, and I'll give you a few free tips on how to get better results: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) (it'll be easier for me if you include screenshots of your profile). I'm sorry people are racist :(
Thank you for doing the ama.
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I recently moved to Canada from india and ,being a 32 year old brown guy, I feel that Indian males don't have a good reputation with females from other races since people tend to think that we are creepy due to what they see in the news and from their general experience.
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My other Indian mal e roommates have expressed the same feelings.
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Is our perception correct ? Do north american Women find Indian men to be least favorable ?.
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All the best for your business, you seem to be helping out a lot of guys out there. Keep up the good work.
I have a my undergrad in cultural anthropology, masters degree in clinical social work and I'll be starting my PhD in clinical psychology after covid. It's been great! I've always had to work during university to pay my bills, but this allows me to make my own hours. I can work from home and do homework inbetween. Best job ever, seriously haha.
I plan to stop (or at least decrease a lot) when I finish my PhD. I would absolutely love it if I could continue to use Advice by Chloe as my main employment until I graduate... but I plan to eventually work full-time with survivors of complex trauma. My business has become my baby though, and the idea of giving her up makes me really sad. I try not to think about it haha. I'll worry about it in a few years.
Online dating/dating don't seem like they're fading, so the opportunity looks long-term. Could you see yourself pulling your desired salary/hours out of this 5/10/20 years down the road?
omg she's the cutest little lady in the world. I already had a dog and a cat, so I knew I wouldn't be able to keep her. I gave her to my cousin who has a huge backyard. I haven't gotten to see her in a while because of covid, but she's cute as hell haha. Super healthy and she got HUGE.
uggh, a huge part of what I do is trying to undo the gross PUA advice that my clients have learned in the past. My advice is actionable and based on marketing and psychology. I don't teach men how to trick women into fucking them. I teach them how to appeal to women by teaching them how women see the world, as well as basic marketing strats when it comes to online dating. At the same time, I also get men with extremely poor boundaries who end up with toxic women... so we also talk about self-respect and dignity and how to maintain it in the dating world.
D&D is my obsession. Don't be afraid to be adventurous. Make a character who feels real to you, and don't be afraid to role-play. It isn't all about being super OP, it's about the role-playing and the experience.
Dating apps aren't authentic. I don't even like to consider dating apps actual dating. I consider them pre-dating. An attractive woman in a fairy large area can easily get 30-50 matches a day, which has a major impact on how she swipes. She can't swipe of every reasonably attractive/interesting guy she sees because then she'd have hundreds of matches. Instead, she is super duper picky and swipes left for small and often stupid reasons... because she has to swipe left on most of her matches.
Answer to Q above
I like to explain it like this: you're the hiring manager at your company. You're hiring for 5 positions. You get 200 resumes. Of those, 50 of them are perfect for the job. Great qualifications, education, references. Everything. They're fantastic. Under no circumstances are you going to hire 50 people. Instead you're going to nick pick the hell out of them. Even if the reason you're disqualifying them is unfair or stupid, you're still going to do it... because you have to. This is what it's like for women on dating apps, and why marketing makes such a huge difference. It's not just about making a sincere profile, it's about marketing yourself in such a way that it's difficult for her to swipe left for a stupid reason. Does that make sense?
I send out emails checking in with them clients after our appointments. If they're still struggling, I usually ask to see screenshots to see what's going on and offer small advice for free to keep them on the right track. I want to get paid, but I'm hugely motivated by helping people. I really love what I do.
I rolled whatever $ I got into bills in the beginning haha. I kept getting more clients from posting to slave lavour and then for hire on reddit, and then I started using ads like 6 months later.
I completely understand what you're saying. I'm Korean and my boyfriend is white. It was really hard dealing with the judgement from other Asians who accused me of white worshipping, and being stereotyped by other white people. It's a rough situation to be in. Here are my thoughts:
First, we are certainly socialized as Americans to view Asian men as sexless. They are demasculinized in most forms of media, so spend some time taking an honest look at your own biases and if you have some unpacking to do with regards to race.
Second, being attracted to a white man doesn't make you a white worshipper. Trust your instincts, but don't go searching for red flags with every white dude you go out with. We've both probably had enough creepy experiences with ppl who have Asian fetishes to know when we're being objectified. Trust that gut feeling and walk away from anything that feels uncomfortable to you... but you can date whoever the hell you want to, and anyone who tries to make you feel guilty about it has their own issues that they should be working on instead of projecting it onto you. Good luck <3
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I guess my question is just that, how can I address the anxiety I feel from dating interracially? Do I just care too much what others think? Is the asian community the racist one? I'm just really lost on what to think of the whole toxic environment surrounding interracial dating (especially white/asian) and have a feeling I've passed on several what could have been great realtionships because of it. Please help.
It hasn't really. I've been in a long-term relationship since the early days of advice by chloe. Before that, I dated casually because my focus was on school.
Yes, and we have a frank conversation about it if it comes up. I've had a few clients try to use me as their therapist because I'm a therapist.. but I'm not their therapist. Instead, I send them links to low-cost options in their area and wish them the best. If I don't feel my services could be useful to them, I refund and end the appointment. It's incredibly important to me never to be predatory.
I've thought about the twitch channel thing. I've considered having a twitch channel where I game while giving dating advice or people can come in for a free profile review. I haven't set anything up though.
I've had clients all over the world. When their dating culture is distinctly different from the U.S. we have a conversation about my limitations in helping them, and then they decide whether or not to keep the appointment. France Italy, India, Indonesia, Australia, everywhere haha. It's been really cool!
I've had one marriage, 2 engagements, and several long-term relationships. It's been a really cool experience. For the client who got married, they mentioned me in their speech. It was bomb. I'm going to add it to my website haha.
Don't mention OSRS in your dating profile. It's never a good idea to appeal to a niche audience (esp. a group as small as female osrs players haha), because you'll lose access to most other women. Women have so many matches that they swipe left for really small and stupid reasons, and talking about video games in your profile is a bad idea. Instead, mention game night or something along those lines. It's vague enough that it wouldn't be unappealing to most women, but it'll really attractive those nerdy girls you're looking for. There are other things you can do to curate your profile better for gamers, but it would take a while to explain. I talk about it in a few of my blogs, you can check them out for free ;) https://www.advicebychloe.com/blog
It depends on what you mean by 'unpacking'. Truly unpacking that kind of mindset is more a therapy role, which I don't do with Advice by Chloe. However, I have had many many clients with a strong Asian preference and we have a frank conversation about it. It usually helps a lot when I explain that the way in which they are trying to attract Asian women is actually repelling them.
Is unpacking that strong racial preference a service you offer?
oh man, I feel you. If you're looking for work online, figure out what you're good at and how to market it, while also considering if there's a big market for that skill set.
that's exactly it. About 85% of my clients just use the photos they happened to have on their phone, rather than taking photos for their profile. Most guys aren't used to regularly taking photos of themselves or having them taken of them.
Or people who post their dog instead of their face.
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My personal theory is that these guys have literally no pictures of themselves other than that one bass they caught three years ago.
I have services that are for general dating rather than online dating. It's called 'Twitterpated'. When you buy the gift card (it's called Chloe Cash) you'll get a coupon code sent to your (or his) email. He can use it to make the appointment at his discretion.
How you tell him is up to you. You could tell him that you saw my AMA going viral and you thought it was a cool idea, and he's the first single friend you thought of. You don't have to tell him that he sucks at dating haha.
Do you offer advice or services for people who are struggling with the dating world in general, or is your service specifically for the world of online dating?
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If yes, how would I go about giving him said gift card without him thinking I'm saying he's bad with women even though he is?
I have a great friend who is an amazing dude and would be a great catch for almost anyone. Thing is, he sucks with ladies. Gets too invested too fast, gets infatuated with demons (like the ones you mention in your blog) and just generally has bad 'game'.
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Do you offer advice or services for people who are struggling with the dating world in general, or is your service specifically for the world of online dating?
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If yes, how would I go about giving him said gift card without him thinking I'm saying he's bad with women even though he is?
when I worked full time I made between $1000 and $1600 a week, depending on how fully booked I was. I took some time off during covid to take care of my sick family members, so I've had a much smaller work load because I blocked off most of my work hours.
I just mentioned it to a few people, if I offered to it everyone I'd be completely swamped haha. I'm sorry, but if you send me an email I'll give your profile a once over and some quick advice free of charge :) Just mention this message in the email so I'll remember you <3
I write a blog as a form of free marketing, and I discovered that I really love writing. I don't know if it'll ever happen, but it sounds like it would be a lot of fun to write haha.
mostly online, at least in the beginning. It's interesting, because I have a much higher percentage of clients who end up in serious relationships since covid. I think that fact that people are forced to talk to each other instead of meeting up in person has made it easier to develop real connections.
* a small group photo can be great, but it shouldn't be a large group where it's difficult to point you out, a photo where I can't clearly see you, and you should be the most attractive dude in the photo.
* it's great to demonstrate interests, but (and this is important) your hobbies/lifestyle should ALWAYS be secondary to showing off your most attractive features. Your first priority in every photo should be showing off your most attractive features. Don't take a photo playing the guitar if your mouth is open in a weird way and your eyes are squinted.
* one dressed up photo is always great, but mostly casual is the way to go. She wants to be able to look at the photos and feel like she has a pretty good idea of who you are. You don't want to look like you're trying too hard or are a super formal dude.
I've been a passive scroller here for about 6 months now and I now feel like I need to air everything, because I don't know how to keep going. This is a long one, so thank you for reading. I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 27. We've been together for 3 1/2 years and when we first got together he (off his own back) made a very big point about the fact that he didn't want to watch porn whilst in a relationship with me and he wanted to always remain 'completely faithful' to me. Now I hadn't brought up at this point (maybe a month in?) that I have a real issue with porn or anything close to it being used in a relationship, but I did make it clear when he brought it up that that's how I wanted it and I really appreciated it. Fast-forward a couple of months and whilst trying to google something on his laptop, I find that a porn site was autofilled as I was trying to search (he bought the laptop whilst he was with me, so I knew it was from when we were together). I still remember that feeling and it was 3 years ago. I just ran to the bathroom and SOBBED. I felt so betrayed and like at some point he'd decided that actually being 'completely faithful' to me didn't matter that much. I left it because I didn't have the balls to confront him. This was in November 2017. It eventually got to a point where it didn't seem to matter what I was trying to google if I borrowed his laptop, porn was being autofilled and I could see porn in his downloads (which apparently he didn't think I'd see when he opened said folder and I was lying ON HIS CHEST, AWAKE?), so I spoke up in February 2018. I asked if it was still true that he hadn't watched porn since we'd been together and in fairness he straight up said no, it wasn't true. However, he kind of laughed in my face and said 'it's not big deal' , 'it's not like I do it when you're here!' then asked 'do you think it's cheating for me to do that?' in a very condescending, mocking tone. My honest answer was yes but I didn't feel like he'd take that well so I just said no and we left it at that. About a week later he said to me that he was going to 'go back to the no porn rule' and would tell me if he went back on this promise. It lasted two weeks (and no he did not tell me, his downloads gave him away again). I was so hurt and humiliated that again I left it and just tried to learn to cope with it. Now another thing to add here is that throughout our relationship, I have felt that he's had this constant need to just interact with other girls - he once asked if I'd be okay with him using Tinder 'for fun' (no?!) - and this obviously doesn't help with me trying to feel okay about porn either. I accidentally got him into using TikTok and when we watched on his feed, I started noticing more and more scantily clad girls popping up (which he obviously scrolled by when I was there watching too) and he then starting saying 'your feed is better than mine' and we stopped using his phone. He also stopped watching TikToks on his phone next to me, which made me suspicious. Then one day he opened his phone and hadn't closed tiktok and out the corner of my eye I saw he'd liked a tiktok of a girl tagged 'like this if I could pull you' and on various other occasions tiktoks of things like 'these are my favourite ho* tops' and just generally girls stripping or twerking at the screen. It made me feel sick so I stopped using tiktok because I started to find it triggering. Now moving to March 2020. We decided to lockdown together and honestly my main thought is well at least now I know he's not gonna watch porn because, you know, I'm there and frankly I've never said no to anything with him. How wrong I was. About two weeks into lockdown I clocked it. We just weren't ever having sex and he was going to the bathroom with his laptop/phone and headphones ALL the time (1/2 times a day) and one day I walked past the bathroom while he was in there and heard it. My heart SANK, I nearly threw up, I left the house and called my best friend crying about it. He was actually leaving the room I was in, watching porn, then coming back to me in the same room. I again didn't mention it until the end of June because I needed to gather my thoughts about it and when I brought it up again he admitted to it but also said it happened 'not often, once, MAYBE twice' which I knew was a lie but honestly I didn't have the energy to pick at that. I then said that I didn't want to be in a relationship where porn is used and it's a hard line for me, it was hurting me and I couldn't tolerate it anymore and he agreed and seemed very apologetic. We moved in together in August and I feel so low about it. I don't trust him to leave him in the flat alone, I've cancelled last minute on seeing friends because I couldn't take the anxiety, I'm SO triggered every time he goes to the bathroom with any kind of tech and I'm hyper aware of any signs of it happening and I'm CONVINCED it is. At worst he's watching porn, at best he's replaced it with girls he described as 'thirsty and desperate' on tiktok and it hurts like hell. He recently got instagram and I know that's going to be added to the mix. It just feels like he's got to look at girls every where he can. The tiktok part stings because he's directly liking, following (possibly messaging) these girls and it feels very close to being cheated on. I love him so much and I know he loves me too, but I don't know how to keep going with this. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think it's happening and at least once a week I have a very low mood and a big cry alone about it. I want to say something and I don't know how. Please help. thank you if you got to the end of this essay xx
Home / Advice & Tips / 50+ Best Tinder Pickup Lines That Work in 2020 January 1, 2020 - 15,472 Views Whether you’re on Tinder, and any other dating app, to hook up or to find your epic love story, you’ve got to break the ice with some kind of a conversation starter first. 175 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines (Girls & Guys) 2020. ... These are the best tinder pick up lines. I hope you guys like our collection of tinder pick up lines. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. Thanks. Category: questions By Shyami Goyal June 20, 2020. Use these Good Pick Up Lines to impress Boys/Girls on the First Impression Good Pick Up Lines for Instagram & Tinder to start the conversation The best Tinder pick up lines in the world can’t combat terrible photos. When she’s scrolling through your Tinder photos, she’s making snap judgments based on what she sees. And we’re talking everything she sees, not just the obvious stuff like your face and body. Here are 60 of the best tinder pick up lines (funniest, cheesiest…and geekiest!). On Tinder, when you start with stupid Tinder openers and make sure they know you think it’s stupid, it’s funny. It can even be cute. There is also a myriad of other one-liners you can use to get the conversation started on Tinder. Things that will actually ... As cheesy as pick-up lines are in real life, when it comes to online dating apps, a brilliant opener makes all the difference. At Shift Dating, we love that women have to send the first message. Although it can feel pretty daunting if you’re not used to making the first move, brainstorming better opening lines will help you feel more confident the next time you match with a bae apps like Bumble. Ever been on a tinder date and don’t know what to say when. If you are ever put in awkward or challenging situation top10ww will provide you Top 10 best tinder pick up lines. These can be used on numerous occasions like humor, seriousness, and or to break awkward silences. That’s why it’s a great idea to start the conversation with something flirty, and using Tinder pickup lines is the best way to do it. Let’s take a look at some of the best options. The Best Pick Up Lines for Tinder in 2020 100+ Tinder Pick Up Lines – Funny But That Works Most Times! Maria December 28, 2019 Lists No Comments When it comes to Tinder, swiping right and getting a match isn’t that good enough! Contents. 1 The Best Tinder Pickup Lines for Girls 100% Working; 2 12 Funniest Tinder Pick Up Lines for Guys He Can’t Ignore; 3 Good Tinder Openers That Break the Ice Every Time; 4 Hilarious and Funny Pick Up Lines for Tinder in 2020; 5 Really Good Tinder Pick Up Lines That Always Work; 6 Smooth Tinder Pick Up Lines for Her to Relieve the Tension; 7 So Cheesy Tinder Pick Up Lines She Has ...
